Sunday, September 11, 2011

100 Reasons The DJ Hates You

100 Reasons the DJ hates you.....


1. The song you are requesting is being played.
2. You ask for a song that nobody will dance to.
3. You tell the DJ he sucks just because he won't play your song.
4. The only songs you know are line dances.
5. You want to hear every song by Britney Spears and Lady Gaga.
6. You complain that no one likes the song when the dance floor is full.
7. You think reserving a table turns the DJ into your own jukebox.
8. You ask to sing on the microphone like it's karaoke night.
9. You want to hear your song next or your leaving.
10. You declare that you just got to the club so the DJ should play all the hits just for you.
11. Your sad face does not move the DJ into feeling sorry for you and playing your request.
12. You have no concept that the DJ accepts tips.
13. You come to the booth and ask the DJ if he is the DJ.
14. You ask the DJ if he plays any good music.
15. Your requests aren't any where near the format the DJ plays.
16. You demand to hear your song because you are about to leave.
17. When we say we dont play a genre, you ask for more of that genre.
18. You keep asking what song is next.
19. You want to look at every song we have.
20. You don't dance to your request, then ask for more.
21. You think the dance floor is a portrait studio.
22. You make silly poses at the DJ like you are DJing.
23. You are part of a bachelorette party.
24. You grab or touch equipment while the DJ is playing.
25. You are so drunk you think the DJ booth is the bar.
26. You stay by the DJ booth hoping to pick up women.
27. You keep trying to tell the DJ your life story while we are mixing.
28. You think you know what everyone wants to hear.
29. You ask for a song to be played again 5 minutes after hearing it.
30. You say you know the owner/manager in an attempt to get a song played.
31. You ask for the same song everytime you are there.
32. You take pictures of the DJ without warning him of the flash.
33. Your so drunk you keep falling into the DJ booth.
34. You spill a drink on the DJ equipment.
35. You ask that the volume be turned down.
36. You keep trying to get the DJ to dance with you.
37. You tell the DJ what songs go together that don't go together.
38. You stand by the DJ and stare awkwardly.
39. You think it's cool to just stand on the dancefloor and text.
40. You have to talk louder than the music by the DJ booth.
41. You think the DJ booth is a coat check.
42. You offer to tip but never do.
43. You run ladies off the dance floor.
44. You wear so much cologne/perfume the DJ's eyes water.
45. You ask us to play songs off your phone or download them.
46. You keep asking for a shout out all night long.
47. You want us to play a song you made.
48. You act like the DJ is your boyfriend when he is not.
49. You try to sing or hum the song you want to hear.
50. Instead of asking for a song you stick a phone in our face to show us.
51. You don't know the song just the number on the CD.
52. You get all of your friends to ask for the same song that we won't play.
53. You interrupt the DJ to get him to take your picture.
54. Your idea of good music isn't.
55. You think old school means 5 year ago.
56. You ask when do we start to playing something crunk.
57. When you hear a slow jam you think it's a signal to hump women like a dog.
58.  If it isn't hip hop you just call it techno.
59. You keep asking for requests after the club closes.
60. You know the DJ and text him requests to get you in the door.
61. You know the DJ is working and you call over and over expecting an answer.
62. You ask for a song and stay at the booth until the DJ plays it.
63. You fart by the DJ booth.
64. You want something faster but are requesting something slower.
65. You keep trying to fist bump and high five the DJ.
66. You say the other DJ always plays your song when there is no other DJ.
67. You act worse than a 5 year old in the club.
68. You say you are spending a ton of money and we should play your songs regardless.
69. You want an in-depth explanation on how the equipment works.
70.  Your requests are more like demands.
71. You vomit in or around the DJ booth.
72. You tell the DJ how bad the song playing is , then request an even worse one.
73. You ask the DJ to play something with a beat.
74. You threaten to get the manager to make you play a song.
75. Your song was played but you want it again because you were in the bathroom.
76. You think booty shaking music is just any hip hop song.
77. You make up a birthday so you can hear you or your friends name on the mic.
78. You give the DJ a napkin filled with requests and no tip.
79. You complain that the DJ DID play your song.
80. You hug and kiss the DJ and leave with some other guy.
81. You think after a DJ plays your song that he will play every song you want.
82. You ask for a song all night then you leave in the middle of it.
83. You want people to move off the floor so you can dance like a jackass.
84. You ask the DJ to hand out flyers to another club.
85. You tell the DJ his job is becoming obsolete because of ipods.
86. You tell the DJ that they quit making vinyl and his job will vanish.
87. You say you have a huge group there wanting a song when you only have 3 people.
88. You tell the DJ that you DJ too, when we ask where, you say your bedroom.
89. When you ask the DJ if he takes requests, then you have no clue what you want.
90. You run around the club telling people you are the DJ.
91. You think knowing the DJ is sure to get songs played for people you know.
92. You think dry humping the DJ is sexy.
93. You keep asking if you can try and spin.
94. You keep stomping on the floor just to get attention.
95. You still think it's cool to use your phone on the dance floor.
96. You spend more time updating your status online than dancing.
97. You ask the DJ to play something dirty.
98. You ask the DJ to play something you can dance to.
99. You throw up gang signs having no idea what they mean.
100. You are way too drunk.



If you have more to add please do,let's see how big we can make this list and as always keep following us on twitter

http://twitter.com/#!/TheDJGospel

80 comments:

  1. You're girlfriend flirts with the DJ for a song and you threaten him or try to fight him.

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  2. You give us DJs a playlist & actually expect us to play every song in a row.

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  3. You ask the DJ to play a song with less bass!

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  4. You ask the dj to play "something dirty."

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. #76 you say you're from new york ( or insert other city here )and demand to hear music you say they play there because you think seattle ( or insert other city here ) is shite.
    #77 you tell the dj if he'll play a song for you, his girlfriend will show you her tits

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    Replies
    1. #78 the dj is gay so please dont show your tits@Annetworth

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  7. #78 you ask the dj playing house if they could play some 'black music'
    #79 you ask the dj to gay it up a little

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  8. #80 if, during his set, you ask the dj if there's any other clubs they should go to.

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  9. You grab the dj's balls as a form of praise AND you are a man who knows the dj is straight.

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  10. You won't let go of the dj's balls.

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  11. when a person asked the dj if they played a song before they got to the club

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  12. when you dj at the club and people request "wedding music" ie. electric slide, cuban shuffle etc.

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  13. we people feel that you should play their song bc its their birthday.

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  14. You ask the DJ to play a shitty song and the DJ says "No." When you ask why, the DJ replies "Because it sucks" you get mad, go back to the bar, come back with your girlfriends and ask for a shittier song

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  15. You request a song, then head outside for a smoke when the DJ plays it.

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  16. when a person comes up and says "can you play something i can dance to" I say ok and ask them "What your favorite polka song?"

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  17. Hitting on the DJ, who is wearing a wedding ring AND their wife is in the booth with them.

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  18. You tell the dj if he plays a ceetain song it will get you laid

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  19. When someone asks, "when are you going to play something good" OR "play something I can dance to."

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  20. When people ask for numerous requests at one time then give one dollar, thinking that's more than enough compensation.

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  21. When you can't grant a request cuz you don't have it, the person rolls their eyes... then asks "well, what do you have then" expecting to name every track you have.
    Lord... I can go on & on. :)

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  22. When you're asked,"Do you have that song called...Uh I can't remember the title but it's by...Uh I can't remember who sings it but one of the lines goes like this....Uh, I can't remember any words of the song but it sounds like this...Da Dee Duh Dee Da."

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  23. When people say "Women can't be DJs" as I am spinning /vinyl/.

    "Here, let me help you with that EQ setting because women don't have the proper understanding of pitch subtleties.".

    "Are you a slut like the waitresses?". /rage

    "Are you filling in for the "real" DJ?".

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  24. When girls have no concept of mood music (meaning) When a snotty bitch tells you to play the biggest hit of the summer while people are just arriving. (Waste of a great song)--> By the way tell that girl to get lost

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  25. You send a drink to the DJ and spill on his equipment

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  26. when you are at a house/electric venue and the group of latin folks at the table keep requesting cumbia and salsa. this is not a family bbq!

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  27. My friend is getting married 20 years past her prime and she wants to hear "wild thing" -tone loc

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  28. you ask for a hip hop song and get mad when its something i like ...be specific

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  29. "You ask for _anything_ in exchange for the money you spend covering our wages"

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  30. When you ask for county music from the sixties when I am playing at a rave club.makes me just want to slap you

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  31. I'm linking this to my blog. LMAO This is freakin' hilarious AND the truth. I'm a DJ as well. I agree w/ the Hip-Hop request. People ask for that, but when I play KRS-ONE, Atmosphere, or anything dealing w/ the elements, they get upset b/c what they really want is something mainstream.

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  32. Someone turns around and makes a face and says change the song.....ok bitch turn around and look at the packed dance floor

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  33. When people say......are you gonna play good music?? What music do you have?? Can I look through your music?? What are you gonna play next? And just because we play one song for you doesn't mean were your personal jukebox all night......Fuck off

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  34. You hire the DJ because of his eclectic taste in music, and when he doesn't play salsa all night long you demand to hear salsa all night long.

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  35. You ask the Dj if those are 1200's.

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  36. You say "I'm a dj too, is that Serato?"

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  37. You swear at the DJ and still expect him to talk to you about your shitty Macy Gray requests!

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  38. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  39. You try and tell the DJ how to do his job, because you're a 50+ year old drunk alcoholic woman who thinks the DJ needs/wants a consultant.

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  40. You say that Rihanna - Don't Stop The Music (Simmons & Christopher Remix)(Funky House) is too hardcore and could you play some 90s Guitar music.

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  41. You call Mainstream Dance, Techno!!!

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  42. You ask for Alvin & The Chipmunks

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  43. You go into the booth and put the DJ's headphones on when he is in the toilet. Then when getting caught claim you didn't touch nothing.

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  44. You try and talk to the DJ when it's clearly obvious that he's mixing the next song in.

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  45. You come back up to the DJ asking where your request is when the same song that was on when you made your request is still playing.

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  46. You only dance to your requests and sit down otherwise.

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  47. You tell the DJ that because you're a customer he has to play your song.

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  48. You ask the DJ if you get a cd from your car will you play track number 8 from it.

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  49. You tell the DJ you're a promoter who wants to hire him/her to get the DJ's number, then only uses the DJ's number to text requests.

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  50. There's just a few from my own personal experience. Sure there are more I can think of!

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  51. You think you're an expert on music because you own an MP3 player.

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  52. You write me a request on a napkin..
    You ask me to play the Wobble..
    You pick the most inopportune time to try and get my attention..

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  53. You expect me to know about the new indie electro producer that you just discovered yesterday on your favorite music blog...

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  54. You forgot one. When another DJ asks to play during your set and then proceeds to let the song pass without playing another or fuck the levels up.

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  55. Haha, good points. But hate them? Rather spend my energy on people that feed it back aye.

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  56. BECAUSE I'M AN ASIAN FILIPINO FEMALE DJ HITTING ON ME AND THAT YOU WANT MY NUMBER CUS YOU SAY I'M THROWING A PARTY AND I WANT YOU TO DJ IT.

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  57. Do you have "Spotify"? (or another music streaming service) Grrrrrrrr

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  58. When people demand you play their song right away even though its a key that doesn't mix well and its the wrong genre...

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  59. when you're playing some awesome old funk and this middle aged lady out on night out with her girlfriends for a 40th or 50th birthday party asks you to play something not so "old" that they can dance to, like Lady Gaga or Shakira.

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  60. Can you play it off youtube?

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  61. when your in the pisser and all of a sudden the music stops, you damn near piss on yourself to get back to the booth, and the drunk idiot who has been hanging by the booth asking you all kinds of quetions about how to operate the equipment looks at you with a dumb look and says "I don't know what happened, it just stopped"...Grrrrrr

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  62. When someone requests a song and says "what's your drink? I'll bring you one back if you play my song" you play it and they never return..

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  63. you attempt to unbutton the djs shirt and rub his chest while he is working.
    this actually happened to me last night.

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  64. Asking the DJ whos coming on next and what time are you finishing?

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  65. Telling the DJ you are a opening up a club in Mexico City and you want to talk to him after his set, asking him for some of his coke and then never to be seen again

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  66. Asking the DJ "are they cdj2000's?" just to show off your knowledge of DJ kit

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  67. Currently we have been working on two new project called Certified Mixtapez
    and Free Mixtapes .
    However we are trying to get all the DJs involve with this project.

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  68. You ask us to play a song, we say we don't have it, then you keep asking for it.
    You ask us to play a song, we say we don't have it, then demand us to download it in the middle of playing.

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  69. I personally don't like mixing rap songs or trance songs, so I don't search in the genre of rap or trance when looking for songs. My advice is to go to iTunes or where ever you find your music and look up certain genres of music that you like. Visit More

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  70. You give the DJ a large tip, then assume that means he'll play your song.

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  71. When you ask for "nasty" ratchet shht at a Sweet16 or Quince or Wedding or Baptizm or...

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  72. When you YELL at the Dj to play some 2chainz (or insert artist name here) and then when asked what song, cant name one gotdamn song title.

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  73. When u ask for a song from some random mixtape and then are shocked that the dj never heard of MC RapAlot from datpiff.com

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